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The Grape Assassin Part II

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STOP!!
This is Part II of the Grape Assassin!
Read on only if you have read Part I…otherwise it won’t make sense…
truthfully it may not make sense anyway…
Proceed on for the awe inspiring conclusion of the grand mis-adventure of the Grape Assassin brought to you by our guest blogger Brent Stanek!
~Mindy

 

THE GRAPE ASSASSIN PART II
304/365:Somethings not right...

"Somethings Not Right." Photo courtsey of Kit.

Kaia had looked up from rubbing her roots, hair, in the dirt and noticed it laying there.  She immediately got up and commenced running around the Dining Hall shouting HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!  When that happened Carley also shot up out of her seat and started following her yelling CAMPY CAMPY CAMPY!  Not knowing at the time that Kaiawas just trying to think happy thoughts not incite an impromptu camp happydance.

At precisely that moment Mindy also noticed a raisin nearby her and she jumped up and headed into the kitchen.  Eric oblivious to all but sloshing his roots, hair, in the plate of dirt paid no mind to the raisins, Mindy’s departure, or the camp happy dance taking place.  I stood up from my place as with a look of confusion on my face from all the relevant proceedings and it was then I noticed a shadow in the foyer.

It was about 5’4” tall, red roots, hair, spilling out from under a black fedora, a very wrinkly raisin looking type face, and it looked at us with eyes on fire.  The demon came running from the shadow right at me and Eric I jumped up out of my seat but Eric wasn’t as lucky.  I ran to collect my friends Kaia and Carley, who were still running amok, and when I looked back the image before me forced a gag reflex so hard it could only be described as: vomit in my mouth.

There were Eric had been was a green tinged skin and a transparent gelatinous form seated were he had been.  It was an awful sight… Upon seeing it Kaia and Carley screamed and of course then Rebma turned and looked right at us.  Remba began running right at us when Kaia had a great idea!  Kaia began impersonating my very favorite movie star Teddy Bear Hunters! Carley began also shouting and pointing right at me, why is it always me… So I took off running and entered the kitchen with Remba hot on my heals. I dove into the kitchen and I thought I was done when suddenly a grape hit Remba right in the eye and down she fell, like a stone.  Mindy came walking out of the pantry with a bunch of grapes and we all knew a new Grape Assassin was born!  Kaia, Carley, Mindy, what was left of Eric, and I then all entered the walk in fridge and stepped back out normal, or as normal as can be expected.

The End?

Today’s guest blog was brought to you by Brent Stanek. Lutheran Lakeside’s Program Director.

Would you like to be a guest blogger? E-mail Mindy and submit your ideas we would love to hear from you: lavender@lutheranlakeside.com

The Grape Assassin Part I

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Warning:

For those of you who have never read or heard one of Brent Stanek’s  “So there I was…” stories you are in a for a treat.A bizarre, random, silly adventure awaits you!

    Read on if you dare.

~Mindy

THE GRAPE ASSASSIN PART ONE

Photo Courtesy of Anders Ljungberg

So there I was having a lovely breakfast with a most lively and interesting group of high school kids on a brisk Autumn day.  I got up to go into the kitchen and check the walk in fridge for another gallon of milk, as I had a thirst, and when I stepped back out of the walk in I had a very peculiar feeling that I was in for another grand misadventure!

At first everything seemed normal, the kitchen looked like the kitchen, the dining hall looked like the dining hall, and from a distance the people I was enjoying breakfast with:  Mindy, Carley, Kaia, and Eric all looked like the people I was enjoying breakfast with but as I neared them I noticed some particular changes.  The first thing that caught my attention is everyone’s skin had a slightly greenish tint and looked stretched.  I also noticed that the hair that was on top of everyone’s heads as I sat down was all growing from the same spot in the very center of everyone’s heads.  The last thing that struck me as irregular was that instead of a plate in front of everyone there was a large communal plate in the center of the table and everyone was shoving their hair in it!

As I approached wearily no one seemed to take any mind until I sat down with my milk.  Then everyone stopped and stared at me for a long while, as I opened the milk, poured a glass, and quenched a thirst.  At this everyone got all excitable!  Mindy started talking about when she used to drink milk, Carley started crying cause Eric bumped her chair in his haste to attempt to grab the milk away from me and it forced her knee into the leg of the table, and Kaia was concerned about the plate of dirt in the middle of the table being jostled!

Eric was livid!  I had never seen him quite so excited.  He kept shouting at me to dump the milk in the plate of dirt and quickly.  I begin to comply as it seemed it was super important to him and as I was doing so he begin telling me the weirdest story about the Grape Assassin, Rebma.  Eric told me that Rebma has a passion for milk and that she has a nose that would lead her straight to our location unless we all consumed the entire gallon.  And that as Grape People they could only eat through their roots, or as I called them hair.  As I began pouring the milk into the pile of dirt on a plate Mindy quit rubbing her roots, hair, in the dirt as she told me she had an allergy to milk.  However just as the last drop of milk was poured into the dirt a raisin dropped onto the floor next to Kaia…

TO BE CONTINUED……

CLICK HERE FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION TO THE GRAPE ASSASSIN!

Today’s guest blog is brought to you by Lutheran Lakeside’s Program Director, Brent Stanek.